How to Handle A Bully

I was bullied when I was in school and when I was quite young. Throughout the years, after many different “trial and error”, I finally manage to acquire some of the techniques of how to handle those types of bullies that I have experience myself. Here are some of my own opinions and situations. Maybe it can be of some help or maybe it would not. It all depends on the situation and the type of person or background of the bully. Try to solve it yourself and figure it out for yourself what is best for you. These are just my opinions and my own experiences of confrontation with bullies.

Take note, these are just my opinions on how to handle these types of people but you have to take it with a pinch of salt. The bullies that I have encounter are all male. So far, I have not encounter any female bullies. I think its because female bullies like to bully other females. So, if you encounter a female bully…. I’m sorry, I can’t help you there… I only know how to handle male bullies.

There are many different types of bullies and here are just two of the basic kind of bullies in school:-

The School Bully

This person roam around the school and he will always be looking for some victim to terrorise during recess or after school. You don’t normally see the school bully before school. If you see the school bully and he starts bullying you before school, that means he is aiming for you. That would be very dangerous. This school bully would probably be the leader of a group of delinquents and there would probably be a whole bunch of them circling against a weaker victim. Luckily for you, this school bully is not in your class. That is why you call him the “school bully”.

So, to solve this school bully from harming you is to just stay away from him. It is good that he is not in your class and you are probably not his main focus of attention because he would probably be terrorising his own classmate. But if you are in his way or if you are in any way, drive his attention to you, then you are in big trouble. First thing you do is try to stay away from him. Find out his “schedule” and where will he be “at this time or that time” when he is in school and just stay away from his favourite hang-outs or places.

The favourite place for a school bully or ANY other bully to terrorise is the school toilet. So, if you want to use the school toilet, keep a look out on whether the school bully saw you going into the school toilet. If you see him watching you, then go and find another toilet to use. Keep a look-out and get yourself an “informant” on his movements and you would probably be left alone when he gets tired of trying to get you. He will probably start looking for other people to terrorise. This situation applies to a school bully who has “minor interests” in you but if you encounter a school bully which have a “major interests” in you, then you have to use another type of method to solve this problem.

First, as usual, find out his “schedule” and movements. Now that you know, try to stay away from him but if he still try to terrorise you, then this is what you do. What is the bullying about? Money? Then don’t bring any money. Bring only 1 dollar to school. Homework? Then act dumb. You suddenly become the dumbest person in school. He like to beat you up just for the sake of having fun? Then report to your school teacher/principal. This is because no matter you report or not… you still get beaten up, so might as well report him. Try to figure out what he always wants from you and solve it accordingly. I don’t recommend you fighting the bully because you are probably one person and the bully has “friends”. Fighting is the last resort and only to defend yourself.

Here’s an idea.. normally and always this is the case, no matter whether it is a school bully or class bully or whatever bully… they always smoke. I have not encounter a bully who does not smoke. It’s all about the “macho factor” and peer factor. So, normally they have cigarettes in their school beg or pockets. So, you just have to figure out where are his cigarettes and report him anonymously to the teacher or principal. That would probably get him in trouble and it would be peace & quiet for you. Just remember … ANONYMOUSLY.. if he ever find out it is you… you will be in bigger trouble than before…. USE this as a last resort after you have tried all the rest…

The Class Bully

Same as above but this time the person might be sitting beside you or sitting across from you. Normally, a class bully interests in you would probably be your homework and class assignments. He would bully you in completing his homework and if not, he will beat you up. You are unable to stay away from him and he is always there. BIG trouble. The class bully would probably has his own gang of people in class but if he doesn’t, there is a way for you to solve the situation.

When a class bully start bullying his own classmates, he normally would not have any friends in class. As what people say, Your Enemy Are My Friends. So, maybe you could band together all those terrorised classmates and try to figure out how to solve the situation. My solution, I try to solve it myself. I do not want to involve others. I have several different types of class bully over the years and I tackle it differently each time. For the bully that wants my homework, I act dumb. Suddenly, I don’t remember the multiplication table.. heh heh. Also, sometimes I gave the wrong answer in class whenever the teacher asks me a question. So, that bully shifted his attention to the other geek in class.

The second time, it was a class bully that like to beat me up. He was sitting beside me. So, whenever the teacher is not around, he would punch me in the arm, shove me around, cursed and use vulgar words against me and my parents. Until I can’t take it no more and decided to show him a lesson. When the teacher has her back to the class and writing on the board, the bully was shoving me, agitating me into fighting him and cursing my father/mother, etc. I told him several times to stop but he did not stop and continue babbling, cursing and shoving. What happens next… I suddenly gave him a punch on his stomach under the table and he slump in pain with his head on the table and his hands holding his stomach. My other friend on the next table saw what happen and he smile and I smile back. It was a “quiet punch”. No one else knows about it.

And when he regain his composure, he stood up and begin hitting me on the head with his hands (but it was not painful at all). I guessed when I punch him in the stomach, he lost some of the energy to fight back. I felt like being hit with a book rather than a stone. At the same time, the teacher turn her back and saw him hitting me. The teacher shouted and he stopped. He was warned that if he ever do that again, he will be suspended from school. Since then, the bully stop bullying me and he did not sit beside me again. It was a FUN event for me and since then he stop talking to me or try to avoid me… hah ah ah.. good riddance…

These are just two examples…of my own situations…. It was the good of times and it was the worst of times.. Nevertheless, it was an experience that is to be shared and remember.

Oh yeah.. by the way…. I was the SNITCH that informed the principal of the bullies that smoke in the toilets and where they keep their cigarettes.. Hah Hah Hah Hah… a WHOLE bunch of the bullies got CANED in the butt on stage during the school assembly… HAHA HAH HA.. good riddance…it was the Highlight of my school days!! They never found out who was the snitch …. Hah ah hahh.. I am forever FOR CANING.. it was good to see them got caned…. Heh heh eh

END OF REPORT

FritzSG

My Old School Days

When I was in school (years and years and ages ago in a galaxy far far away), generally speaking, I was the ODD one out. I was the nerd/geek of the class if you can categorise me in that way. But then I was not really a geek and not really a jock. Basically I was in the middle. Just an average person in class. I like to play soccer and I also like to read books in the school library. Not as smart as an “A” student but not as dumb as an “F” student. Usually I get “Cs”. J Not popular but not invisible either. Some people like to be popular while I would prefer NOT to be popular. Some people like the company of friends while I would prefer to be left alone. Some people are talkative while I am shy and timid.

I like to be left alone because I like to do my own stuff and not to do stuff that other people want me to do. By being alone, I can do what I want, when I want and how do I want to do about it. Sometimes that is a good thing while other times it was a bad thing… depending on the situation, I guessed…

But the funny thing about it.. is that… now, I am totally of an opposite person then when I was in school. I like my company of friends, I like to joke around, I am no longer shy and timid. Well, depends on the situation, I guess. (Well, if you are asks to strip in front of the nurse in order to do your physical exams, of course I am shy!.. heh heh.. but then.. *wink*) I am also very talkative among my group of friends. For those friends of mine that know me well enough, for me to be comfortable enough to talk and talk and talk. I am totally a different person that THAT GUY in the past. But there are still some remnants of my character from my past but still, I guess I am wiser and older and feel much more confident than I was in the past.

So, when I was in school, I was NOT belonging to any social group. When I mean social group… I mean.. the “gangsters/bullies”, the popular students, the drug addicts, the smokers, the drinkers, the secret society members or even the nerd/geeks social groups. I was NOT nerdy or geeky enough for the group. And the funny thing is, whenever there is a so-called study group, the teachers would always put me in different social groups in order to do the so-called group projects. I HATE group projects. I would prefer to do it alone!!

Basically that is what happen most of the time when I am forced to be in the “gangsters/bullies” study group. Bullying me into doing the whole bloody project for them and they just sit back and get the marks for themselves. Did I say that I HATE Group projects?!!. I might as well do it alone and get the marks for myself and not for others. At least in the nerdy study group we work together.

School for me is just a place for me to be present for attendance and then go home. I am more comfortable with my neighbourhood friends than my old school. We cycle, play soccer, play baseball, badminton, etc. But one thing I do like school is, there’s a lot more pretty girls at school.. J

Some of the teachers are good while others are bad. When I mean bad.. I mean bad as in teaching the subjects. Most of the time, I sleep in class. A good time to catch some sleep after waking up between 6am to 6.30am every morning. The subjects are dry and I don’t understand what they are teaching. Just reading from the books. I might as well read the books when I am at home and no need to come to school.

It was only when I reach the upper secondary, 1 year before the O’levels that I had some fun. Well, most of it is due to the fact that most of the people that I hate are now either in jail or got to repeat their class or just disappear from school (never turn up for school at all after Sec 2) or just get tired of it all. Good riddance. My school life was happier and calmer. No bullies. Even the bullies or gangsters that manage to make it thru to the O’levels are now like a chicken without legs. Their gang are either broken up or in different classes or were repeating their school year due to failure in their exams or simply were transferred to another school. It was the best school year of my life. Nothing to worry about except for my O’levels and the pretty girls..*wink*…

At the end of the school year.. I get my O’ level results.. and it was good!… J I moved on and never look back. I enjoy the good memories and the best friends that I make (and the girls that I met.. *wink*). The only time I enjoy school was getting to know the pretty girls.. J It was the Best of times and it was the worst of times but I am NOT planning to go back to my old school any time soon. I have better things to do… like spending my time at Orchard Rd and watching all the sexy girls walking by… Now, that is what I call enjoying my free time… J

Meanings of the Social groups:-

1)      The Gangsters/Bullies – students who act tough and like to bully and fight but not belonging to any secret society gangs. My number 1 problem in school. Really hate these guys.

2)      The Popular Students – Pretty girls, handsome guys (with girls around them),.. popular.. what more you want to say? Anything with a popularity contests or competition you will find them there. Also, they are popular due to their involvement (either in school or outside of school ) in either a singing contest or anything that got to do with TV drama/documentary/competition or beauty contests or any other contests/competiton that would boost the name of the school and themselves. These popular students are not necessarily self-indulge people. Some of them are good students/people that give help and encourage others. While some… don’t. I guessed depending on the group mentality and peer pressure.

3)      The drug addicts – Stupid, dumb, students who take ecstasy, sleeping pills, sniff glue, etc. Even though not in niteclubs, also want to dance on the table.. in class!! Lucky the ceiling fan don’t chop off their heads. Some suspended while others sent to Boys Home or whatever. These students are just too stupid or what. If want to take.. go take outside lah!!.. create nuisance in class and school.. Some more want to make money and sell to other students.

4)      The smokers – Students smoke cigarettes behind the toilets, in the toilets, blow smoke in the toilet bowl. Basically, their hang-outs are in the toilets. Most of the time at 1^st sty toilets. Easy to escape mah!!.. The toilets, smell of cigarettes and it was pretty hard to shit in the toilets with the smell of cigarettes and also with smoke filled toilet bowl!!.. How to shit?! But the funny thing is.. the discipline master office is just beside the 1^st sty toilets!!.. hah hah hah.. everytime kena caught!..suspended and caned. The caning event was the highlight of the day. Everyone turn up to see who got caned. I am not sure whether is there anymore caning event in school or MOE has banned them in school but this caning event was the highlight of the school an dmy DAY!!. .. syok sia!!.. see other people kena caned!!.. heh heh heh.. When the discipline master whack the butt off the student, it echo throughout the hall. But these students never learn their lesson leh… got addicted to cigarettes.. they will still smoke cigarettes no matter how much of a caning but at least when they do smoke, they will remember the pain in the butt… hah haha hah hah.. because they were a pain in the butt for their parents!!... Get IT?.. (the joke)… :-)

5)      The drinkers – Alcoholics. Favourite drink.. Tiger beer. Always come to class smell of alcohol. When teacher asks what’s that smell, they say its perfume! And then can see the head of these drinkers swaying left and right sitting on the chair.. like anytime going to fall off from the chair and a few times… it did. It was soo dammn funny! They look like a dummy zombie doll.. Don’t know what is going on. The smell is soo pungent.. those people who were asleep in class (like me) suddenly wake up and going to throw up. A few times got caught and were suspended from school. No more pungent smell.. J

6)      The secret society members – These students act like they own the whole dammn school!! Collecting money, terrorise students, bullying tactics, beat-up students after school (outside of school), tattoos. Really hate these students. Everyone is afraid of them, including me. Hey!! There’s 10 of them.. and 1 of me!! And not counting how many members they have outside of school. Of course, I am afraid!! No one do anything about it. Just try to avoid them as much as we can. No one is stupid enough to tell the teachers or they would probably get beaten up by these people. Usually, we try to find out where they hang-out and what are their “schedule” like and try to avoid those places. Usually, if I see them coming, I would quickly walk towards a teacher and walk behind the teacher. That would usually discourage them but then they would usually find another victim to terrorise.

7)      The nerd/geeks – Smart students…hang-out at school library. Organise the class, get high marks on their schoolwork and exams. I am pretty weak in my Maths but I was smart enough to be friends with these people J . Really appreciate these people. But sometimes they are just too smart for their own good. They should not make deals with the bullies because once you make a deal, the deal will last for you for the whole school year! The bullies will keep on coming back. It’s best to find a way to NOT do their homework and to complain to your parents. This is because either way (even you complain or not complain) you still get beaten up. Might as well, complain. But try to find a middle way, such that you do not need to do their homework. Different bullies have different ways to tackle these people. For me… I act dumb.. heh heh.. “donno leh… I have no idea how to do this homework lah.. don’t ask me leh… I donno”… J

End Of Blog

FritzSG

Ps: I missed my ex-girlfriends… L

Class & School Reunions

Recently I was invited for my class reunion but I rejected the invite and did not go to my class reunion. I am not going to say which school I go to or what was the event but I will tell you why I do not wish to go. I did not specifically tell my old schoolmates why I do not want to go. The only thing that they knew was that I was “too busy with work” which is exactly what happen on that same class reunion day but I have other reasons for not going to the class reunion.

Class Reunions are organised so that you have the opportunity to see and mingle with old schoolmates; get to know them all over again; to check out what have they been doing; how they look like now; whether they are already married; how many children they have, etc. Generally just wanting to know what the other person has been doing since leaving school. But that is the exact thing that I am trying to AVOID.

Basically I am a different person now. I am a better person than I was in school. I have matured, older, wiser and responsible. So, when I was invited to the Class Reunion, I do not wish to revert back to that same person when I was in school. I do not wish to remember those moments in time of my life where my life was miserable and especially, I do not wish to see those same ex-school bullies. 

The funny thing about meeting an old schoolmate or classmate is that you tend to have the impression that everything stays the same and that same person character and behaviour is the same. So, when you meet him/her, you tend to treat him/her as the same way as what you have been treating him/her when both of you were in school. I don’t mean it as in literally the same but the nuances in that person behaviour and yourself, the body language, the tone of voice, the language and the message that you are trying to put across to your ex-classmates/schoolmates seems to make you and your ex-classmates/schoolmates to revert back to your old self.

And that is what I am trying to avoid. I do not wish for them to treat me as what they have treated me while I was in school. Generally, school was a not a fun place for me even though there were some very good fun memories while I was in school. The bad memories offset the good memories by a large margin.

The funny thing is, when I am older and wiser; and when I see my old ex-schoolmates, especially the ex-bullies either while waiting for a bus or in the mrt, we treat like good old pals… like nothing happen. Like all the bullying was ancient history and everything is alright. Well, normally when I do see them, I would also treat it like nothing has happen and we were “best of pals” but secretly I was hoping that I would not want to see you again.. :-) I would take a different train or I would take a different bus or I would even try to cycle to work just to avoid you. I hope that you would also take a different bus or train and our meeting was only by chance and this is a fluke. If you ask for my phone no. I would probably give you a wrong number or I will give you the correct number and then I will change my phone number. I will try my best to avoid you at all cost.  

Now, when we are older, we have nothing in common to each other. The only thing that we had in common was in the past with the same school teacher. So, what do you expect would the conversation to go in a Class Reunion for me? The conversation would probably sound like this:--

Bully No. 1 : Hey Fritz! How are you doing? I thought you die already!!.. Hah ha hah

Fritz : No Lah!.,.. still alive! (ggrrrrr).

Bully No. 1 : Hey! You remember the time that I kick you in the butt.. literally?

Fritz :  Oh yeah.. and I do remember it was YOU.. (Gggggrrrr…)

Bully No. 1 : Hah Hah Hah.. it was fun times, was it? You were sooo funny!!..

Fritz : hmm… yeah… (ggrrrrrr..)

Bully No. 2 : Oh yeah!!.. you haven’t change a bit! Still young leh.. I remember that I use kick your legs while we were playing soccer… it was a very good soccer match…

Fritz : hmm.. yeah… it was painful then and it is painful now..

Bully No. 2 : After we lose that soccer match, we were so angry that we try to beat you up but you ran away like a fried chicken.. hah hah hah.. you were soo fast!! You should have join the athletics club.

Fritz : Oh yeah.. sure sure… that’s funny.. running away like a fried chicken.. heh heh (sarcastic laugh). There were 5 of you running after me, to beat me up. What do you expect? Have to run away mah!!... I am not Jackie Chan!!.. heh heh.. (sacarstic laugh)

Bully No. 1 : Hah HHa Hha Hah hah

Bully No. 2 : Hahh Hahh Hah.. you are soo funny!!.. Oklah, later buddy. Both of us catch you later, we need to go see someone else… GET it? CATCH you later?... heh heh heh

Fritz : Ya Ya Ya…. I GET it… (Gggggggrrrrrr….)

SO! No Class Reunions for me .. EVER!! I am Not ever ever going to any school reunions, class reunions of any other reunions. I like who I am now and I do not wish to meet these people. It is just tooooo troublesome.

We have nothing in common now. They have their own lives and I have my own. I do not wish to be involve in their lives and hopefully I do not wish for them to get involve in my lives. There are some ex-schoolmates that I do wish to see and meet tho but then we are now two very different people with different lives and again, I don’t think we have anything else in common other than the past. The conversation would probably be mostly about reminiscence about the past. The things that we did, the joy of school, the bad things that we did, the good teachers, the bad teachers, the worst teachers, who get caned, who stole stuff, what happened to that guy/girl; etc. Other than recounting events in the past, we have nothing in common now.

For myself, I tend to look forward rather than backward. But I will sometimes recount the moments in my past to my current group of friends. Who doesn’t? I will enjoy and treasure the moments of joy in my past but in my own free time. For others, who enjoy meeting their schoolmates, my advice is, go to your school reunions or class reunions because the joy of meeting your best friends is the best medicine for happiness. For myself, I think I’ll passed.

Once in a while I met my old schoolmates that I do like while on the road, bus, mrt, shopping centre, etc and we talk and recounted the past. It was a good conversation but that is it. The old schoolmate will go his/her way and I will go mine. And we just leave it as it is. I prefer to be with my current group of friends and co-workers that I do like now rather than living in the past.

Regards,

Fritz

Ps: Also, there’s the other matter of me paying a sum of money to pay for the class/school reunion food and location of event? I have to pay for it? Hell… NO way man!! Why should I pay $20 to $50 bucks for the reunion that I don’t like?.. I rather save that money for my increased taxi fare!..

CATS Carnival Nov 2011

Recently I went to the CATS Carnival in Nov 2011 and it was so much fun to see so many Race Queens in the exhibition. Luvly babes and beautifully sexy...

Cute, beautiful, sexy and very very friendly Iris. We had a nice chat and she's very accomodating in taking photos. She has the most beaitiful smile. Very cute. Luv the babe.. and hope to see her again.. :-)

AVIVA girl... she has a nice smile.. pretty.. :-)

2nd AVIVA girl.. :-)

3rd AVIVA girl.. she has the nicest cute smile.. :-)

4th AVIVA girl... she's the cutest.. :-)

Gal in white.. very pretty.. ;-)

Luvly booth gal.. nicceeeee.. :-)

Balloons for sale!!.. heh heh... no lah.. just a lovely pose from a beautiful gal.. :-)

Took a LOT of photos of her. My camera is full of her photos.. She gave some of the many luvly, cute poses.. a wonderfully very cute smile, beautiful and very pretty.. luv to take more photos of her..

Another very cute babe.. took a lot of her photos too.. she gave a number of very nice poses. Very cute, beautiful, sexy and hot.. hmm.. luvly babe.. ;-)

Very hot, sexy, luvly, beautiful babe. She gave some of the most luvly poses for the camera. Took a LOT of her photos. My camera is FULL of her photos.. heh heh.. She has the cutest smile... kawaiiii... ;-) I think it was close to almost 1hr of photo taking from myself and a whole lot of "platoon" of professional photographers.. inside the car, outside the car, poses with the other exhibition race queen and she gave each photo with a wonderful smile. Very accomodating in taking photos.... luv the babe.

Anime Festival Asia 2011

Recently, I went to the Anime Festival Asia 2011 from 12 Nov to 13 Nov 2011 and it was the best weekend of all!!. I have been waiting for this event for the whole year and its finally here!!.. The AFA is getting bigger, better and better with appearances and performances by japanese singers (Kalafina, Angela, May'N, etc), appearances by AKB48 and we even have our very own SEA*A girl group (a group of 3 singaporean and 1 Malaysian who is making it big in japan) and perform in the concert.

Oh yeah!.. on the same night we had the so-called I Luv Anisong concert.. it was great!!.. We even had the Miku Hatsune concert on Friday night!!.. here are some photos of the event..

A photo of the special appearance by two members of AKB48 at AFA2011. Team A Sayaka Nakaya (Nakayan) and Team K Miku Tanabe (Tanamin) who manned the AKB48 booth at AFA 2011 for a short while. Lots of photographers there and only managed to get this "good" photo. Too many people and there is no good angle to take the photos. Both members will be performing at the AKB48 theatre on 20 Nov 2011 with the rest of the AKB48 members.

Anime Festival Asia 2011 (AFA2011) - Chun Li. Very cute and one of my favourite original street fighter character. Finally a photo of a person in reality.. :-)

AFA 2011 - Very fierce! Luv this photo. The angle of the gun, the angle of distance behind her, the fierce stare in her expression and she is both cute & fierce. You could actually see that there is some distance in the photo between the barrel of the gun to the escalator behind her. A very dynamic photo with expression and action. I just Luv this photo! And the funny thing is, I took this photo on a whim and it works!!... accidentally.. :-) By the way, she has a cute smile after I show her this photo.. :-)

AFA 2011 - Nurses covered in blood!!!.. horrors!!.. wait, have I seen them in some emergency room or something?.. :-) not sure what characters they are cosplaying but they remind me of the nurses in the Silent Hill movie. Luv this cosplay. Weird, scary and sexy at the same time.. heh heh heh.. wonder how they look like under that masks. Imagine a drunkard driver waking up in a hospital room and being surrounded by these nurses and the nurses tell the drunkard that "you are in hell!!".. hah hah hah.. that will teach the drunkard not to drink and drive.. :-)

AFA 2011 - Wwwoooo Hoooo!!.. bunny ears.. pink hair.. short skirts... green hair.. cute smile... what more can a guy say in a photo.. cute, sexy.. kawaiii.. :-)

AFA 2011 - Very cute cosplay girls. Luv the costume and their nicest kawaii smile... :-) took quite a number of photos.... but post this one only.. :-) especially the gal in yellow... she's sooo beautiful.. should have ask her for the name.. :-). She has the cutest and beautiful face/expression and beautiful, cute costume.. :-)

Ooooooh.. How I wish that all school uniforms would be like this... :-) wouldn't it be great!!.. heh heh.. the gal on the right has the cutest smile and kawaiiii.... :-) luv the school girl outfit... took lots of photos of her.. :-)

I think this is a mix match of cosplay from different anime?.. or I might be wrong. But anyway... Kawaaiiii..... sugoooiiii... I took a lot of photos of the gal in the left.. she's cuteee... :-) the gal in the middle is also sooo cute..

Yes my dear police officers!!.. I have been a very naughty boy.. please handcuff me and take me to jail!!.. heh heh heh... very hot and sexy.. the gal on the left is very beautiful and sexy.. :-) she has the nicest poses..

AFA 2011 - Booth Babes!!.. at the Magic The Gathering booth. Very beautiful babes.. the gal on the right wore contact lenses that look eerily scary.. but nice.... :-) very sexy booth babes based on the characters.. Now, this is what I call "characters come alive!!"... :-) The gal on the left is very beautiful and sexy.. I have seen her at various "costume events"  (cosplay events, car event, etc).. luv the outfit.


Ok, I think that is it.. Will write again if I have anything else to say...